its so amazing

how one can start out. everything fine.only to be cheated on by the one person you think would never do that to you. you loose so much trust for them.and so much trust for the next runner up. im a victim of trust issues. ive worked and worked on this since the 8th grade when i was let down by one of my best friends. next was the liar.the one who claimed i was her only one and yet, she was cheating with a 14 yr old. caught pretty much in the act she finally admitted it up to me. this shit happened..twice that i know of.probably more. wanna know somthing funny? my first g/f cheated on me with my second g/f who cheated on me with the 14 yr old and yet after being repeatidly warning of her. i stepped right into it like a complete idiot. lets just say gf #2 fucked with my mind hardcore. i already had trust issues on my plate. now i had trust issues and walls up the wazoo.and yet, every time she cheated,lied, let me down, i kept coming back, i made myself belive i could do no better than her. i brainwashed myself.of course if your one like me that has self issues about herself youd probably do the same exact thing. along the gf #2 road i found out who my true friends were. who was really there for me and who was just along for the entertainment. i was constantly being told to get out. that i could do so much better.but as i said before. i didnt belive i could. then again. i had to want it in myself to leave. the last straw was when i got a call.begging me to take her back. so of course i did. within less than 24 hrs she broke up with me. by txt msg. and once again when i was having family issues. "i was having to many problems to deal with" was her cause. she she broke it off. and i lost it on myself. thats when i finally decided. nomore. g/f #3 was in a gang. guess i shouldve known from the begining that would never work. what happened there?...everything was fine...until g/f#2 starting calling and getting her friends to call at all hours of the night on my house phone. calling my cell. scarred me half to death, so gf#3 steps in. long story short. gf#2 plays the friend role, pretends to be g/f#3s friend. all happy and what not that were happy? im sure yall are familiar with that card. right? then tells her a bunch of lies. and the current gf#3 belives the ex over me. i was living with her at the time. soo leaving was not so pretty. the last few days i was there was not my better days let me just say. gf#3 is also to cause for making her friend want to fight me, because of lies that were never even said.how mature right? soo now ive come to the point. im not really trusting alot of ppl. and i still have walls up.gf#4 was "sooo inlove"yet i never could talk to her on phone. she gave me her number.intentions for what i have no idea. but never answerd. she always claimed, she "missed" the call.then she would literally disappear for weeks at a time and not tell me. obviously i couldnt deal. who could really. gf#5 shouldnt have even happened. i went against my rules to not dating a bi chick. i wont date bi chicks b/c my firsr gf. who cheated on me with my ex...also was cheating on me with a guy.BUT i was under the impression she was completly lesbian. just dating a guy to fool her parents. i was alittle more than stupid in those early years i will admit. b/c soon after b/f #1 came b/f #2 and b/f #3 and i think you get the picture...it was until i had to "share" her with this army guy i said fuck it im done. and ive been done since. gf#4 as you already know was bi, i gave her a shot. big mistake. first she was more into guys, which took me back to places, id rather not repeat. and second. shed go off cussing, yelling, the whole works when i would write her on myspace. and when i say she would go off...you have no idea. the girl was crazy. that was ended when she called drunk at my house. on my house phone at 2 am hollaring and screaming at me about somthing i had no clue about. and then when asked by my mother not to call back, she calls back 2 seconds later...lol.. i pick the really good ones dont i? but hang in there. this story gets better. =] i promise. so on to gf #5 honestly. gf number five was actaully normal. lol. i was at the point now that. heartbreak.cheating. lieing. i was numb to it. i really was. it was just another thing that happened. no big surprise really. and like no big surpirses, again. just like gf#1 i was the complete fool when i thought everything was A ok. until i caught her cheating as well. she left me for another girl that was closer. i was so numb by this point. i was honestly. like. whatever. i didnt cry. i wasnt even really sad. i did my thing. and i was done. i gave it my all. no since in crying over somone whos going to break you apart. g/f#7 my first military gf. this was one of my best friends whom id had a thing for for some time. never knew she even liked me. but when they come back from a bar with scratch marks all up and down there back and sides and have it lowered to two direct individuals. that would just about cause a problem for anyone. myspace is just myspace. but i think youd start to worry if all the sudden. your gfs page goes from in a relationship to single, when your still in a realtionship. and according to you. everything is fine.well apparently not.now ive come to the point were im about to give up on relationships period. but as i promised before i saved the best for last. my lucky #8. my danni. she my miracle and my dream come true. ive learned and grown so much with her and were just now coming p on our second month.no other girl. has ever touched me the way she has. its like shes literally came into my life. picked up all the pieces of my shattered heart and placed them back together. there are no walls up with her. no a one. and those trust issues no longer exist. i never thought id see the day. that i could be so completly happy and inlove and content. shes been the first to accept me for me. unconditionaly. as i take her for her. id have her no other way. shes me babe! my everything! she makes me smile and laugh constantly. im always thinking about her. even when im talking to her. im thinking about her. the weekend she came down was the most amazing! i wish i could wake up and fall asleep with her everynight for the rest of my life.her kisses and her touch are so gentle and so tender.everyday it literally blows my mind how any one could hurt her, or walkaway from such an amazing girl as her.but im glad they did. because had they not. we wouldnt be together now. before her i had some major issues with myself. and now i can actaully agree with her that im somewhat cute and not fill as though shes lieing. ive never felt as those shes lieing. i trust her completly. she makes me fill beautiful. and i belive her as i never have any other girl. i honestly belive her. she my soul purpose for doing anything i do. when i do things i think before hand in how is this going to affect us. without her. im just not me. im not complete. im not whole. she the one that i want to spend the rest of my days with and start afamily with. i used to be so scarred of the future. scarred i wasnt goingto have somone to share it with. but shes made all that go away. its o amazing how one can go though all the crap and still be able to finally find that one person they know their destined for and love them with every being in them as if they were never hurt.she my one. my miracle. im not a big person on god. i have my questions and stuff. but i do belive that she was sent to me. and that us being together was fate. everyday its like somones hollaring shes the one. shes your other half. as if i didnt already know. id be stupid to ever leave her. i never will. i will never let her go. she means to much to me. everything. i just hope that i make he as happy as she makes me. i love you dani. your everything to me!!!!