well today was pretty good. im filling much much better..that is until about 20 somthing mins ago. maybe ive just been to nice with my exs. somtimes i just want to go and change my number, delete all my accounts and start all over with just me and danni knowing. and of course the few friends that havent tried to say somthing ridiculous!
wow...i had every intention of getting on here and writing more than this but im alittle aggravated atthe moment =[ so until next time i guess

back from the doctors for about three hours now. turns out its nothing very serious. he thinks i have broncitis and the fact that i have panic/anxiety disorder was making it worse. thats defintly a huge relief. and he was right i was thinking the worse poosible things. he put me on ibuprfen for the chest pain and some sort of cough syrup to maybe help loosen any flem or somthing still in there, not that any one reading this really cares to know that lol but im simply blogging about my everyday life and im abit of a details girl myself ;)
now im back now, me medication wasnt ready so i brought mom home and had to go back. called and talking to my sweetheart =] its just amazing how i can be fillings so just blah or miserable, i can be have the most dramatic stress filled day and the simple words i love you from her make everything and i do mean everything better =]. she in general makes everything better. i love whe nshe tells me she loves me, not that i didnt already now but i will never grow tired of hearing those words from her, or hearing her voice in general. i just love her so much. im crazy about her!!!
grimlins barkings at somthing. and i just saw what i hope was a dog go running though the yard and not a fox or rabid coyete =[ its always entertaining over here =] i miss you babe. cant wait to talk to you again!!fixing to go lay down on the couch and watch tv for a few mins and see if my medicine will kill in.

my sister called today. she told me about this retreat her and my niece carrie went on. she said she and her both fully enjoyed it, but she was very worn out as i can imagine. i ended up no going to the doctor but i think that just might have been a mistake. my chest pains are comeing back and i just looking up heart attack symptoms, and there scarring me, they said the most common signs are chest discomfort and pain for women, but in the center of the chest, and mine is more on the left side, which also scares me because thats right above my heart. ive had chest exams and they came out find,that nothing was wrong. in fact the doctor said that, when i asked him could it be somthing else, he was pretty sure it was my ashma. and he put me on a inhaler, and up until now its been working. but what if all this time it has been somthing serious and somthings fixing to happen..of course im really freaking myself out as i normally do and im also on anxiety pills for that as well to calm me down. the pain has someone lessened, it hasnt been unbarable but if it gets that way ill be waking my mother up. im also talking to my love about it. hopeing im not freaking her out. the main thing that concerns me is when i was at the doctors. i told him the sypmtoms, chest pain but only alittle and it didnt last very long,gapsing for breathe and filling as though my throat were closing up, and he said that those were signs of ashma problems BUT then again i just looke up the signs and symptoms of a heartattack and im pretty much matching it except for the leg or arms pain and the chest discomfort is not in the center its on my left side.ive pretty much made up my mind im going to have to go to the doctors i shouldve gone today.but either tomorw or the next day i got to this is starting to worry me, better safe than sorry if i can make it until tomorw with out going to the ER

i should be at the doctors at the moment. but im filling better. its more than likely the season change or my ashma flarring up like it does. orrr it could be that fact that its cold one and hot the next, could get anyone sick!...well guys i dont have much to tell as of right know. i was attempting to take a nap with my sweetheart. but the phone died. or rather the call was lost =[
and im abit on edge becuase my step father just walked through the door =[ and i get nervous when i know theres fixing to be yelling and screaming. alot is going on around here that i just dont have the time to explain nor do i care to. but your welcome to msg me if you must know. my thing is i want to tell my girlfriend everything and i do. but at the same time she has to be getting tired of hearing about it. and i want her to meet my family. espcially my mom and dad, dads another story, but i want them to meet the one girl i want to spend the rest of my life with. basically what im saying is the things that have been going on arent a very good impact on somone espcially my significant other i want them to meet. but thats the thing about dani that i love so much. she tells me she wants me to be able to come and talk to her about stuff. and shes the first i go to. to talk to about anything.shes the first to really understand what im going through. and thats why im so blessed to have her...im going to end this for know but ill update later tonight.

ok guys so now that ive finally gotten everything caught up and on here, i can start up with the current! as of right now 1:02 am my babe is sleeping! she has work tommorw and i have a doctors appointment. and at the moment. im filling ok. but id rather not take chances. so im going. BUT as of right now only three more days until our second month! and god has it been amazing!every minute! every second with her is just so amazing! you guys would honestly kill for this kind of relationship, you really would! not to brag but..ok well im going to SHE BEAUTIFUL! AND GORGEOUS AND....every single thing thats good in life wrapped up in a cute shiny multicolor bow =] such a creative mind i have lol. i cant wait to see her again. not sure when that will be yet . but soon i hope. i can fill it. i miss her touch and her sweet kisses so much! i just miss her! i love you babe! im now off to attempt to get some sleep myself =]

8.9.09

last week me and my girlfriend had our first month anniversary. i have to tell you guys. shes the most beyond amazing girl ive ever met! shes the fairytale type. the one you want to bring home to your parents and family. the one you just want to tell the whole world about! maybe one day i will be able to do that. of all the relationships,bullshit,lies, and cheating ive been through, its caused me to have major trust issues as well as major paranoia. i often times found me being in a relationship were everything was going perfect, and just like that somthing was said, and id freak out.
to be able to come into a relationship and trust someone so completly, that youd trust them with your life, means alot to me.the fact that she can do and say anything and i dont question a bit of it. im constantly smiling, constantly happy, shes always on my mind. i really couldnt have asked for anyone better. shes my entire world! my universe, with all the stars,planets,moon and the sun. shes my everything!! if i had to id walk straight back through all the pain,hurt and tears just knowing id find myself back in her arms again. shes by far the only one that i know completly in my heart, and my mind that i was meant to spend the rest of my days with. her and her alone. theres no place id rather be than in her sweet arms. falling asleep and waking up beside her was more than amazing! and her kisses are to die for!
this is nothing to do with why i fill im the luckiest girl alive. of all the girls ive ever been with, it was always about the physical, the sex. but she takes me as i am. physical and mental. she like me for me! ive been seraching my whole life to find a girl like her! one who likes and respects me for me,nothing more. and ive finally found her. that girl ive been searching for. my one and only.i love you dani!

killing of the innocent

this is one of those topics that once i get on, its hard to pull me off of. abortion. im 100% against it. before i start my blog. i just want to say this.everybody has different oppinions.and everybodys entitled to their own oppinions. the whole free speech thing?yea. all i ask is that if by chance you do read this. and have differnt fillings, i accept feed back, infact id like to know what others oppinions are on this matter,but pls dont comment with a threatening or ugly response to my blogs if you happen to dissagree. if you do and it bothers you that bad.then kindly take yourself off my site. thank you.
so abortion. is the killing of a unborn child. it maybe unborn.but its still alive. meaning, its human.and abortion is killing a human which is murder. so there you have it.millions of thousands of americans are committing murder.daily.what do YOU think about that?! well you already know my oppinion, i think its wrong. lets explore the arguments shall we? agrument number one:"i was raped". rape is another of a long list of things i think are just complelty and utterly enjust and uncalled for.but just because somthing is uncalled for doesnt mean it doesnt happen.rape is also happening to millions apon millions of ppl as well. thats another topic for another day.so we have a girl that was raped. i in no way ever say that rape is ok. or should just be swept under the rug. i have to also try as best i can and place myself in this girls situation saying what would i do if i were raped and got pregnant.i honestly belive id still have the babe. to my full ability. and if i couldnt take care of my child and give them the best home possible theres always adoption.this is one of those situations were one could say "oh id do this"hands down, no questions asked, and then faced with the situation may do the complete opposite. again putting myself in this situation i couldnt possibly bring myself to kill a child. no matter how along ive come. i just couldnt do it.
argument number two: young and pregnant. it seems the age for pregnancy is getting younger and younger every day.13,14,12..god forbid i dont think its gotten that low yet. but it is very well possible. the girls you see on maury. 14 and 15 year olds trying to have kids when their still kids themselves. whats all that about? back to topic we have a 14 yr old whos gotten pregnant. the first thing anyone is probably going to say is termanate it. this is a baby having a baby, her body isnt even fully developed. i still stick with having the baby and putting it up for adoption. i realize a 14 yr old cant really take full and total care of a baby, and yet they very well could, theres always that show 16 and pregnant. ok so you thinking 14 is a 2 yr differnce from 16. true. but not by much and both are still very young. but the way i see it. their obviously old enough to go out and get pregnant so they should be old enough to have a baby.realization on the parents is hard enough to.but making them hands down get an adortion is basically teaching them how to kill a child.how to kill a living thing! a human! is that what you want!? the two ppl in this world that arent supposed to lie and let us down. teaching us how to kill another person. so now your probably thinking, ive worded it to extreme, not in my mind. id rather be to extreme than sugarcoat it and make it sound as if its no big deal. and honestly. if youve just got to have an abortion, theres just no other way, no talking you out of ...dare i say again killing a living thing. then atleast do you and your child some respect and take it to a LEGAL doctor and hospital, who LEGALLY knows what their doing and LEGALLY has the right to do what thier doing.nobody should have a legal right to kill somone else but pshh its the U.S right?an actual doctor instead of some sleezy hood guy that has not the slightest clue as to what the fuck hes doing, has no steral knifes, no steral anything, and youll more than likley wind up with some disease from that when you could have a safe termination and all that would be in affect would be possibly alittle pain and a guilty conscious. one things for a fact. these children are having to grow up and become adults really fast. and what i want to know is were are their parents when all this is going on?!